This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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