Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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