He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
they're like a gay fantastic four
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
