You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
