Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
