I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
