so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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