and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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