Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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