is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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