i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
