What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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