the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
