omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
