I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
