Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
