My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
