All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
