Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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