I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
