I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
