She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
