Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
