I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
