OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
