my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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