I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
