then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
