Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
