Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
