did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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