Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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