i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
