i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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