her vagine was all disorganized.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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