i jhust puked up my retainher.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
