mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
