that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
