Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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