A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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