smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
