i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
