I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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