i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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