Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
