wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
A+ Viking dick
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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