His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
