I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
