No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
