Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
