All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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