people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Two words: nipple clamps
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