is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
