I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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