took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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