Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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