Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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