And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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