I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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