I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
