He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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