I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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