By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
