so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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