we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
