one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize