I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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