Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
