His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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